You have a desire Ė a calling. Something is telling you that thereís more, but the way is unclear. Uncertainty and self-doubt encourage you to stay on the well-worn path. Academics is a well-worn path. However, is it the right path?
I came across this Rumi poem, translated by Coleman Barks.
ďWhen you do things from your soul, you feel a river
moving in you, a joy.
When actions come from another section, the feeling
disappears. Don't let others lead you. They may be blind or, worse, vultures.
Reach for the rope of God. And what is that? Putting aside self-will.
Because of willfulness people sit in jail, the trapped bird's wings are tied,
fish sizzle in the skillet.
The anger of police is willfulness. You've seen a magistrate
inflict visible punishment. Now see the invisible. If you could leave your selfishness, you
would see how you've been torturing your soul.
We are born and live inside black water in a well. How could we know what an open field of sunlight is?
Don't insist on going where you think